Thursday, March 12, 2015

What are you afraid of?

I struggle all the time with what I want to do. I don't show it, nor do I tell people about it, but I figured I could write about it because not many people really read this blog so I figure my secret will stay hidden. So for anyone reading this, get ready to meet the real me....

First of all, I love people, I really do. Communication, interaction, working together and finding something better for the World, is in my DNA. But just like anyone, I have my own deeper feelings that most people have, that you don't openly share. And these feelings aren't exactly the opposite of my outward feelings and emotions but I am conflicted many times.

When I am faced with doing something, my inward and outward feelings are somewhat contradictory as a lot of the times, I don't want to do things, I don't know why I got involved in what I am in, and that I don't even know if I want to keep doing them. I commit to working with someone, or a group of people, or get behind a cause, and then right before I start, I am telling myself, NO!!! Don't do it, are you crazy for agreeing to do this?

For example, last year First Niagara flew me all over the North East to speak in front of hundreds of Real Estate Agents. Each time we had to go away for a few days, I was in a dark place, I didn't want to travel, I was scared I would screw up, or they wouldn't like me, or other excuses to freak myself out. We visited 6 cities, Holyoke, Mass, NYC, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Rochester, and Hudson Valley. On the outside, I acted as if I traveled all over, but in reality, rarely do I travel anywhere outside WNY. But everyone who met me thought I was a world traveler.  I am dreadful of public speaking, but after speaking in each city, people thought of me as a great speaker, and enjoyed my view on technology and real estate.

My fear is replaced with elation! 

I speak in front of Real Estate agents all the time. I have even created a few classes, and I have helped put on several large events, and all the while, I am gripped with fear. I feel that every step that I take is going to cause me to fail or something major is going to go wrong. But after each event, because I work with a great group of people,

I feel connected, and a part of something larger. 

I work on large events each month, for Startup Grind, and for InfoTech wondering what am I doing here? We have put on 9 successful Startup Grind's and countless Infotech events since I have been involved, and at the end of each one, people come up to me or we get many people call or email us and tell us what a great job we did and that they look forward to the next one.

The relief I feel from hearing these words are therapeutic. 

To say the least, fear is a great motivator. If I wasn't afraid, I would only wing it, and skip my research on the topics I speak about. If I wasn't in fear, my presentation wouldn't be polished to what it should be for those looking for me to show them exactly what they need to know to be more successful. And when I complete my goal of doing what I set out to do, fighting all of the fear, dread and worry, I come out feeling so great that I forget (for a short bit) the fear that was holding me back, until the next thing I jump into.

Be afraid, its good for you, let it motivate you to be better.

Finding a way to make fear be your motivation should be a goal of many people, because we fear the things we think are the hardest. So instead of running away from your fear, let it motivate you to become razor sharp and focused on the goal you want to accomplish and go get it.